Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Firstly's Law of Combat

  • Friendly bomber fire - isn't
  • You are not superman - dictor and Naga pilots take note
  • A gaping hole in your hull is EVE's way of telling you to slow down
  • If it's a terrible fit, but it works, it isn't terrible
  • Try to look T1 fit - the hostiles may be low on ammo and not want to waste a round on you
  • If at first you don't succeed, get out the batphone
  • If you are forward of your fleet, the hostiles will have optimal range scripts loaded
  • Never warp to the 'x' of any pilot braver than yourself
  • Never backstop an FC crazier than you
  • Never forget that your doctrine fit was the cheapest fit your theorycrafters could come up with
  • If your gank is going really well, it's bait
  • Hostiles will only attack you on two occasions: when they're ready; when you're not
  • No plan survives long-point range
  • There is no such thing as a perfect fleet comp
  • 30km bombs always detonate in 27km
  • With a free kill on the line, there's no such thing as a carebear
  •  A de-aggressing hostile is one who is rejoining his much larger gang on the other side of the gate
  • The easy route to your destie is always gate-camped
  • Teamwork is essential - it gives the hostiles other primaries to call
  • If you are low on everything but hostiles, you're on grid
  • When you have secured the field, make sure the hostiles know it, too
  • No combat-ready fleet comp has ever held up to doctrine
  • No doctrine-ready fleet comp has ever help up to combat
  • If the hostiles are within optimals, so are you
  • The only thing more accurate than hostile bombs are friendly bombs
  • The batphone will fail as soon as you have a hostile super tackled
  • Jabber pings become ineffective at night and in RUSTZ, especially in both
  • Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing
  • When both sides are convinced they're about to whelp, they're both right
  • High-SP pilots are predictable, but New Eden is full of noobs
  • Overview-Bug Motto: Pod 'em all. Let Diplo sort it out
  • Your gang will land on grid 5 seconds after you're already down
  • Bombs are equal opportunity munitions
  • The script you need will be the one you didn't bring
  • The damage type you have loaded will be your hostile's strongest resist
  • When in doubt, burn out your high slots
  • When you're low on ammo, the hostile will be able to keep his transversal up
  • PvP experience is something you only get after you need it
  • If you get out in structure, it means you were smart enough to think of a plan, dumb enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive

Lovingly adapted from a slightly better-known version.


  1. Nice list. The last one is my favorite.

  2. For the last one you are also obliged to post "THIS BOAT IS ON FI-ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!" in local so the song gets stuck in the hostiles heads.

  3. Now it's stuck in MY head! You bastige!